For whom the Bell tolls

During my time in the North, as regular readers of this blog will know, I have partaken in many weird and wonderful foodstuffs, but today I sampled a delicacy that just about trumps the lot.

I am referring to the Taco Bell Bean Burrito.

Now, I do not normally frequent the shores of Lake Taco Bell, but with only loose change in my pocket I was taken in by their Bean Burrito's $1.29 price tag, and as a consequence the term 'false economy' now has a new clarity of meaning for me.

For a start, the picture above bore no resemblance to what I got for my 129 cents. It my not look appealing, but at least in that illustration there are four distinct layers: cheese, sour cream (maybe), some red sauce and....well, a brown gloop. My bean burrito consisted of just the brown gloop. Maybe there was cheese in it. Maybe there was sour cream in it. Maybe there was red sauce in it. Maybe there were even beans in it. Who knows? Whatever was in it though, it was certainly the ultimate in fast food as it seemed to have been thoughtfully pre-chewed for me.

However, I was really hungry and I had paid good money, so I went ahead and ate my gloopy, pre-masticated beanfeast, but I was more hungry after I finished it than I was when I started! I must have used up more energy in the effort of eating the damn thing than I actually got out of it, so at the end of the whole exercise I was not even back where I started, I was back at a point before I even thought about starting.

You know, maybe Michaelle Jean didn't eat that seal heart out of cultural solidarity with the Inuit after all. Maybe the only other item on the menu was a bean burrito...