Should I stay or should I go?

With typical Canadian understatement, Parliament reconvened earlier this week, almost two months after Prime Minister Harper decided to start the Christmas holiday early. The budget was re-presented and this time, with conditions, the Liberal Party decided to accept it, thus preserving Stephen Harper's tenuous grip on power.

However, the NDP and Bloc Quebecois both rejected the terms of the new budget; the Bloc Quebecois complained that not enough resources would be directed Quebec's way, and during a subsequent interview Gilles Duceppe, leader of the Bloc, made a very revealing comment:

"The interests of Canada are not those of Quebec."

Such an incredible statement puts a picture of a petulant teenager in my head who, just before slamming the door and leaving the house, shouts out something to his parents like "You just don't understand me, why can't you give me my own space? I hate you...I don't want to see you again, ever!" as he skulks away, underwear still defiantly visible above the top of his jeans.

Now, in 99% of such scenarios, said teenager eventually skulks back, tail between the legs, after he realises that life in the real world is actually very hard without the support of those darned parents. It would seem to me that Mr Duceppe really wants to take Quebec out that door before slamming it firmly behind him, and as I have said before, if that's what Quebec wants, then let it go. Whether the petulant teenager eventually skulks back to his Canadian parents in this case only time would tell, but if he did I can only hope, for his sake, that the parents haven't changed the locks.

Crisis? What Crisis?

As America prepares to embrace the New Hope that is Barack Obama, Canada is staring into a political abyss, although after today's events on Parliament Hill it could yet prove to be no more than a Phantom Menace.

As referenced in this blog a couple of months ago, Canada elected a minority Conservative government at the recent general election, with none of the party leaders seeming able to ignite the blue touch paper of public interest or support. With little likelihood of one single party assuming outright control in the near future, the three opposition parties have come up with an interesting solution: unite and conquer.

The Liberals and the NDP have announced a coalition, and with the backing of the Bloc Quebecois, their intent was to topple the government with a vote of no confidence this coming Monday. I say their intent was to topple the government, because Prime Minister Harper has come up with his own interesting solution to the problem: shut down Parliament.

He met with Governor General Michaelle Jean today, and after two hours of talks the GG agreed to prorogue, or suspend, parliament until late January, a step unprecedented in Canadian history, or for that matter the history of most democratic nations that you could care to mention. It's basically the political equivalent of stopping the game and declaring "it's my ball and I'm going home!"

But you know what? Harper's plan just might succeed, and here's why. Firstly, if the coalition won power, Stephane Dion would take over as Prime Minister, a situation that very few Canadians would care for. Dion has already stated that he will be stepping down as Liberal leader in May, and quite frankly he has all the personality of a wet fish. A wet fish that has just taken a bath. A wet fish that has just taken a bath and then stepped out in the rain. A wet fish that has just taken a bath, stepped out in the rain and then gone for a swim. A wet fish that has....you get the picture.

Secondly, other than in Quebec, Canada is scared of the Bloc Quebecois. For my non-Canadian readers, the main goal of the Bloc Quebecois is to see the French-speaking province of Quebec gain independence from Canada; the proposed coalition would be impossible without the support of the Bloc, and the possibility of a separatist party getting anywhere close to the corridors of power seems to give most Canadians outside of Quebec the willies. Now, I say that if they want to go, then let them go and be done with it, but many Canadians would see this as a dagger blow to the nation's heart. Consequently, any coalition that involves the Bloc seems doomed to failure, and when you throw Dion into the mix, I can't see the coalition making it intact into the New Year.

So, where does all this leave us? The politicians now have an extra-long holiday, when they come back parliament will still be deadlocked, and once the snow clears we'll most probably have another election, the third in three years. But hey, by that time my citizenship might have come through and I'll finally be able to vote; come on Mike, make it right!