High, wide and anthem

Parliament reopened this week - did anyone notice that it had been closed? - and one of Stephen Harper's first moves was to propose a change to the wording of the national anthem. For those of you not in the know, O Canada begins with the lines:

O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command

According to the government, the anthem should be gender neutral, so the proposition was to replace the second line with 'True patriot love in thou dost us command', a line which comes from the 1908 poem on which the anthem is based.

There has been a huge public outcry against such a change though, and the government has now admitted that its policy was wide of the mark and has backed down, which is a good job as it's taken me almost five years to learn the words as they currently stand; and besides, for an upwardly mobile and forward looking country such as Canada - we own our own podium now, you know - incorporating the words thou and dost into the anthem is so, well, last century.

Speaking of anthems, I've always thought that the UK should ditch God Save The Queen in favour of one that actually refers to the country rather than an individual person. Land Of Hope And Glory would seem to be the obvious choice, but it would have to be the version that gets played at the Last Night of the Proms, which incorporates the whole of Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance March No 1. Just imagine the scenes at the 2012 Olympics if this were to become reality; every time a Brit won a gold the medal ceremony would become a riotous celebration replete with streamers, party poppers, silly hats and a full choir. Unbeatable...



...unless, of course, Canada adopted I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK as its anthem. Now, that would be a medal ceremony worth watching.

Olympic autopsy (part two)

It's customary at the end of an Olympic Games for the IOC President, in his closing speech, to proclaim the Games 'the best ever', much in the way that the judges on American Idol always gush that 'this season is the best season ever,' no matter what the contestants do. Current IOC president Jacques Rogge was damning with faint praise though, commending Vancouver's Games as being 'excellent' and 'friendly' but stopping short of labelling them as the best Games ever.

I too was somewhat underwhelmed after the first week of competition but I was won over during week two, when each day seemed to provide incident, intrigue and interest in seemingly exponential measure, culminating in that closing ceremony. A flood of Canadian gold probably helped too, and it was the Canadian public's reaction to that success that was, for me, the most interesting aspect of the Games.

An increasingly common theme in the media here was Canada's 'rebirth' as a nation that was finally unafraid to wear its patriotism on its sleeve, Olympic success paving the way for a new brand of confident, unashamed tub thumping, the type in which Canadians had always been reticent to indulge. Many of the retrospective montages so beloved by television companies during or after any major sporting event have focused as much on the spectators as they have on the athletes, and one that I saw on CTV this week proclaimed that the greatest legacy of the Games may be that the cultural and political divides that have historically existed between the provinces may now become a thing of the past.

Now, whilst I would agree that the nation did indeed seem to come together during the Olympic period, I think it will take more than fourteen gold medals to wipe out 150 years of provincial differences. Time will tell on this issue, but even having said this, I have always found Canadians to have a great sense of national pride, and I hope that the effect of the Olympics has not been to create a new brand of American-style, in your face breast beating patriotism.

That would be a very high price to pay for ownership of the podium.

Olympic autopsy (part one)

Well, it's only been over for 24 hours and I miss it already, and I don't mean my pancakes and syrup.

It's been strange switching on the TV and finding no Olympics, but a remarkable final day ensured that the Games went out with a bang. First of all there was Canada's nail-biting overtime win in the hockey - Sidney Crosby's winning goal will now surely enshrine him as Canada's Geoff Hurst - but the real highlight had to be what was undoubtedly the most surreal closing ceremony ever.

It began with the prerequisite formalities: the entrance of the athletes, the speeches, the anthems, the lowering of the flag and the extinguishing of the flame. However, from that point on reality seemed to melt away as we were plunged into a Pythonesque array of stereotypical Canadian iconography.

William Shatner - whose mere presence should have set the surreality alarms going - set the tone by proclaiming that Canadians were the only race who knew how to make love in canoe, a group of camp, dancing mounties (think of the dance troupe at the end of Blazing Saddles, only dressed as RCMPs) upped the ante still further, and then a series of giant, It's A Knockout-style mounties, lumberjacks, beavers, moose, maple leaves and table hockey players paraded around the arena in an ever-growing display of Canadiana that Terry Gilliam would have been hard pushed to better.

Finally, Michael Bublé was wheeled into the stadium atop a giant Mountie hat which then proceeded to rise majestically into the air as he sang the final few bars of The Maple Leaf Forever. Had he then burst into I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK the evening would have been truly complete, but as it was it was still good enough. The whole event was completely tongue-in-cheek (I think!) and personally I loved it, but the reaction at work the next day was very mixed. Some were amused, some were perplexed, some were embarrassed; how the rest of the world viewed it all remains to be seen.

I can't imagine the Americans indulging in such self-mockery, but I guess that's one of the reasons that I'm glad I live here rather than south of the border. Canada's ability to laugh at itself is one of its most endearing characteristics and one that I hope it never loses - a theme we shall return to in the next post - and the closing ceremony was a fitting end to what turned out to be a pretty good Games.

To be continued...

Gold rush

Wow!

Since my last post on Wednesday, Canada has gone into gold medal overdrive in Vancouver. The women duly beat the USA to claim the hockey gold, making it Canada's most golden Winter Olympics in history, and five further golds have been added in the last 48 hours in speed skating (thrice!), snowboarding and men's curling. The women's curlers missed out in their final against Sweden - whose team seemed to be comprised of the slightly overweight relations of Dr Cameron from House - but nonetheless this is now Canada's most successful Olympics ever, summer or winter.

In fact, if Canada can pick up one more gold, that will bring the total to fourteen, which would be the most golds won at any Winter Olympics by any nation, and there will be one last chance in the final event of the whole beanfeast as the men look to emulate their female counterparts by knocking over the Americans in the hockey final. A Hollywood scriptwriter could hardly have crafted a more fitting finale to the Games, and all that remains now is for the team to play their part and finish the deal.

As you are probably aware, I'm not the greatest hockey fan, but I shall be watching tomorrow regardless and I shall probably be on the edge of my seat from start to finish. There won't be any running into the street if Canada wins as it's -20 outside at the moment and forecast to be even colder tomorrow, but I might allow myself to crack open the maple syrup and cook up a celebratory pancake or two if all goes well.

Not that I need an excuse for pancakes and syrup...

Highs and lows

We've been having some bizarre weather over the past 24 hours. Last night was a balmy -5°C, and earlier today the temperature had risen to -2°, which is ridiculously warm for this time of year, the seasonal norm being anywhere between -21° and -30°, according to Environment Canada. However, the wind picked up in the afternoon, and at the time of writing on Wednesday evening we now have a mini-blizzard outside and a temperature of -25°. It's hardly four seasons in one day I know, but at least it keeps things interesting.

Talking of interesting things, it just keeps on getting better for Canada at the Olympics. Today the men's hockey team pulled off a remarkable 7-3 thrashing of Russia to book a place in the semi-finals, there were silver and bronze medals in the speed skating, and then in the women's two man bobsleigh - if that's not a contradiction of terms - Canada came home first and second to take the country's gold medal tally to seven, which ties Germany and the USA at the top of the table in this Olympics and also matches Canada's all-time best at a single Winter Olympic Games.

If the women's team can overcome the USA in their hockey final tomorrow night then this will officially become Canada's best ever Games in terms of gold medals, not bad considering all the gloom and doom of earlier in the week; perhaps we could start thinking about owning the podium after all. Or maybe we should just lease one.

Patience is a virtue

See...what did I tell you?

Canada has won two more golds since yesterday's post, and all of a sudden Canucks are indeed owning (rather than moaning) the podium, even if it is for just one day. Ashleigh McIvor won the women's ski cross today - no, I didn't know such an event existed either - and last night Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir took the ice dance gold with a performance reminiscent of Torvill and Dean all those years ago. Any Brit of a certain age still has the Bolero routine burned into their memory cells, and I'm sure Virtue and Moir's skate will become part of the Canadian collective memory over the course of time.

And as I write, the men's hockey team are cruising past Germany to set up a quarter final clash with Russia, the women are already in their final (against USA on Thursday), and both the men's and women's curlers sit atop the pile after a series of dominant displays in the round robin - where does that phrase come from? - stages of the competition.

So cheer up Brian, you know what they say...

Woe Canada..?

Despite what I was saying about perspective yesterday, Canada's loss to the United States in the Olympic ice hockey was most certainly a devastating blow to the country. Team Canada can still make it to the last eight if they beat Germany on Tuesday - which they should - but the public's faith in their ability to bring home the gold has been severely shaken.

When results are compared to pre-Games predictions it's not been a good Olympics at all for Canada thus far - indeed, the Canadian Olympic Committee admitted this morning that the five year, $117 million 'Own The Podium' program had missed its mark - but Canada still has four golds, and with a realistic prospect of at least four more to come in ice dance, women's hockey and both men's and women's curling, there is every chance of overhauling the record of seven that was set in Salt Lake City in 2002 and then equalled four years ago in Turin.

Canada is not a large country in terms of population, and the despondency being shown in light of America's dominance of the medal table is totally unfounded. The home athletes at these Games have been put under immense pressure to perform by the media, the public and the aforementioned Own The Podium program, and as is so often the case back in Britain, as much attention is being given to failure as it is to success.

So, let's see where we are this time next week, and then let's judge how the Games have gone. After all, patience is a virtue...

A bone of contention

It's been a veritable gold rush in the last 24 hours; Christine Nesbitt and Jon Montgomery picked up Canada's third and fourth gold medals in the women's 1000m speed skating and men's skeleton - the event where the competitors plunge headfirst down the bobsled run on what is basically a tea tray - respectively, whilst Britain reached the top of the podium for the first time through Amy Williams' wonderful run (or should that be slide?) in the women's skeleton....a random thought: do you think a forensic anthropologist could tell the gender of a dead competitor just by looking at the skeleton?

My loyalties face a stern test in the next couple of hours though as the Canadian skeleton team have lodged a protest over Williams' helmet, claiming that it is too aerodynamic and hence illegal. The protest is likely to be thrown out and no Canadians can actually benefit as a result - the best placed Canuck was only fifth - but were it to succeed I might have to question my citizenship application and perhaps my entire future in the country.

I'd miss my Tims though, so maybe I'll let this one slide.......did you see what I did there? Slide...skeleton racing...

Never mind.

Pancakes and podiums

Canada secured its second gold of the Olympic Winter Games yesterday when Maelle Ricker came home first in the women's snowboard cross, and whilst events such as this and the moguls - which sounds more like an adversary in Star Trek: 'Captain, we are being hailed by the Mogul vessel' - might not be in the traditional Olympic mould, they are certainly highly entertaining to watch.

It was also Shrove Tuesday yesterday, and armed with Melanie's recipe I ventured into the kitchen and attempted to make - and toss - my own pancakes. They didn't turn out too badly, but I will be the first to admit that there would have been no awards for artistic impression:

The proof of the pudding is in the eating though, and they were quite palatable once laced with a bit of jam and a sprinkling of sugar. I did have some lemon juice in the fridge for a more authentic topping, but on closer inspection of the bottle I realised that the sell by date was back in September so I thought better of it. Maybe I can try to pick up a lemon from the store here and have another go at the weekend; let's see how brave I feel.

Going for gold

So, the Olympic Winter Games are now well and truly under way, and Canada has its first gold in the shape of Alexandre Bilodeau in the moguls, the skiing event that requires compulsory knee replacement surgery every alternate year. Bilodeau is the first Canadian ever to win a gold medal on home soil (or snow, or ice for that matter), but for most Canucks the real action gets going tonight when the Canadian men's hockey team takes the ice for the first time. Canada's women have already got their hockey campaign off to a good start, but the men are the real focus of attention, and the public's obsession with, and expectations of, the team is every bit as intense as it gets in England when the soccer team are playing in the World Cup, with one major difference.

The Canadian hockey team actually have a chance of winning!

Standing on ceremony

It can't have escaped your notice, especially if you live in this part of the world, that there's an Olympic Games on - the Olympic Winter Games, to be exact; it always used to be the plain old Winter Olympics when I was growing up, but there seems to have been a law passed without my knowledge that the word Olympic now has to come first.

The Winter Olympics - sorry, Olympic Winter Games - have never had that high a profile in the UK, save for Torvill and Dean and Eddie the Eagle (I've met him, by the way), but now I'm living in Canada I feel I ought to make the effort to get more involved, at least as a spectator. Yesterday's opening ceremony was overshadowed by the tragic death of Georgian Nodar Kumaritashvili - I was quite shocked that his horrific luge accident was shown ad nauseam on the news over here, initially without prior warning of the distressing nature of the footage - but the Games had to go on, and Vancouver would get its chance to showcase Canada before the rest of the world with a well organized, sleek and to-the-point opening ceremony.

Didn't quite work out like that though, did it?

The evening got off to a shambolic start when the late arrival of the four first nations chiefs left the half-empty VIP box in disarray - the chairs were still being rearranged as Michaelle Jean made her entrance - and Nikki Yanofsky then proceeded to assault the national anthem with a performance that was more a celebration of her and her record company than the country to whom the anthem belongs; had Simon Cowell been in attendance, I'm sure the word 'indulgent' would have been used at least once. Ms Yanofsky is undoubtedly a supremely talented young girl but I'm sorry, you don't mess with your country's national anthem on a stage like this.

The parade of athletes was as enjoyable as ever (it's always fun to rank the uniforms of the various nations; way to go Czech Republic, by the way!), but we were then treated to the 'cultural component' of the evening, which didn't half drag. There were some highlights, don't get me wrong - I liked the giant white bear, the big guy who read the poem, the spouting whales and KD Lang's rendition of Hallelujah - but the whole thing seemed unnecessarily long. I do hope London has the courage to deliver a streamlined ceremony in 2012: anthem, parade, quick song from Status Quo, oaths and Queenie cutting a red ribbon to let the Games begin.

Back to Vancouver though, for the best was yet to come. After the diva with the mad hair and the cat up her dress had finished breaking most of the glass in the stadium with her interpretation of the Olympic Hymn, we finally got to the lighting of the Olympic flame, the moment that should have been the crowning glory of the evening and Vancouver's chance to plant an indelible, iconic image into the collective mind of the watching world.

Umm, yeah...about that...

The hydraulic system that was meant to raise the the ceremonial cauldron failed, halting the ceremony and leaving one of the official torch bearers unable to carry out his duty as his part of the apparatus had failed to emerge from beneath the stadium floor, and then Wayne Gretzky had to leave the stadium and take a ten minute drive through town in the pouring rain so that he could light the 'official' flame down on Vancouver's waterfront. The temptation to stop for a Tims on the way must have been immense.

Three and a half hours after it had started the ceremony was finally over, and the Games could now begin, Vancouver weather permitting of course. Hopefully there will be plenty of golden moments for Canada over the next couple of weeks (and, who knows, maybe for Team GB too), but I think the first medals of the Games should go to all those who managed to sit through the opening ceremony without losing consciousness. Go on London, do the right thing...