Should I stay or should I go?

With typical Canadian understatement, Parliament reconvened earlier this week, almost two months after Prime Minister Harper decided to start the Christmas holiday early. The budget was re-presented and this time, with conditions, the Liberal Party decided to accept it, thus preserving Stephen Harper's tenuous grip on power.

However, the NDP and Bloc Quebecois both rejected the terms of the new budget; the Bloc Quebecois complained that not enough resources would be directed Quebec's way, and during a subsequent interview Gilles Duceppe, leader of the Bloc, made a very revealing comment:

"The interests of Canada are not those of Quebec."

Such an incredible statement puts a picture of a petulant teenager in my head who, just before slamming the door and leaving the house, shouts out something to his parents like "You just don't understand me, why can't you give me my own space? I hate you...I don't want to see you again, ever!" as he skulks away, underwear still defiantly visible above the top of his jeans.

Now, in 99% of such scenarios, said teenager eventually skulks back, tail between the legs, after he realises that life in the real world is actually very hard without the support of those darned parents. It would seem to me that Mr Duceppe really wants to take Quebec out that door before slamming it firmly behind him, and as I have said before, if that's what Quebec wants, then let it go. Whether the petulant teenager eventually skulks back to his Canadian parents in this case only time would tell, but if he did I can only hope, for his sake, that the parents haven't changed the locks.

Crisis? What Crisis?

As America prepares to embrace the New Hope that is Barack Obama, Canada is staring into a political abyss, although after today's events on Parliament Hill it could yet prove to be no more than a Phantom Menace.

As referenced in this blog a couple of months ago, Canada elected a minority Conservative government at the recent general election, with none of the party leaders seeming able to ignite the blue touch paper of public interest or support. With little likelihood of one single party assuming outright control in the near future, the three opposition parties have come up with an interesting solution: unite and conquer.

The Liberals and the NDP have announced a coalition, and with the backing of the Bloc Quebecois, their intent was to topple the government with a vote of no confidence this coming Monday. I say their intent was to topple the government, because Prime Minister Harper has come up with his own interesting solution to the problem: shut down Parliament.

He met with Governor General Michaelle Jean today, and after two hours of talks the GG agreed to prorogue, or suspend, parliament until late January, a step unprecedented in Canadian history, or for that matter the history of most democratic nations that you could care to mention. It's basically the political equivalent of stopping the game and declaring "it's my ball and I'm going home!"

But you know what? Harper's plan just might succeed, and here's why. Firstly, if the coalition won power, Stephane Dion would take over as Prime Minister, a situation that very few Canadians would care for. Dion has already stated that he will be stepping down as Liberal leader in May, and quite frankly he has all the personality of a wet fish. A wet fish that has just taken a bath. A wet fish that has just taken a bath and then stepped out in the rain. A wet fish that has just taken a bath, stepped out in the rain and then gone for a swim. A wet fish that has....you get the picture.

Secondly, other than in Quebec, Canada is scared of the Bloc Quebecois. For my non-Canadian readers, the main goal of the Bloc Quebecois is to see the French-speaking province of Quebec gain independence from Canada; the proposed coalition would be impossible without the support of the Bloc, and the possibility of a separatist party getting anywhere close to the corridors of power seems to give most Canadians outside of Quebec the willies. Now, I say that if they want to go, then let them go and be done with it, but many Canadians would see this as a dagger blow to the nation's heart. Consequently, any coalition that involves the Bloc seems doomed to failure, and when you throw Dion into the mix, I can't see the coalition making it intact into the New Year.

So, where does all this leave us? The politicians now have an extra-long holiday, when they come back parliament will still be deadlocked, and once the snow clears we'll most probably have another election, the third in three years. But hey, by that time my citizenship might have come through and I'll finally be able to vote; come on Mike, make it right!

Much ado about nothing

In case you didn't know, we had an election here in Canada yesterday - if you only get your news from CNN, you wouldn't know - the result of which left the nation in almost exactly the same position as it was before the vote. Prime Minister Stephen Harper continues to head a minority government, albeit with a slightly reduced minority than before (if that makes sense), and the general feeling here is that the entire exercise was a waste of time and money, especially given the current financial climate. And our friend, Mark Canada, didn't make it. Guess he'll have to go back to Mr Universe.

The turnout was just 59%, the lowest figure since Confederation in 1867, and that goes to illustrate the general level of apathy that seemed to exist around the whole process. Although I've lived here for more than three years now, I'm still an 'outsider' in many respects, and the political process is one example; I can't vote until I become a Canadian citizen, although I have now been here long enough to make an application.

In my role as a political outsider, it's my observation that this voter apathy must be caused, in part, by the distinct lack of charisma shown by the leaders of the main parties here. To be a successful leader you must be able to inspire the masses; inspire them to get up and vote for you in the first place and then to inspire them to back your policies once you've been elected. It would seem that the 'inspiration factor' is not prevalent here at the moment, a view that is supported by the wistful remembrances that so many Canadians have for the likes of Trudeau and Chretien.

With all this in mind, I would like to suggest that there is in a fact a perfect candidate for Prime Minister out there, and the party that could secure his services would surely win by a landslide. He would make sure that the nation's institutions were run to code, and he'd get it all done in the space of an hour (including commercial breaks). Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the next Prime Minister of Canada:

Mike Holmes will Make It Right!

I want to be elected

Now here's a funny story...

I've been trying recently, with varying degrees of success, to get my students interested in the forthcoming general election (as I write, polling day is just one week away). To this end, I have some information about the candidates for Nunavik posted on the wall in my classroom, and last night two of my colleagues, Dominick (who we've met on the blog before) and Dave (who we haven't - hello, Dave!), were reading it on the way out. Much to our amusement, the Liberal candidate goes by the the extraordinarily appropriate name of Mark Canada, although I think he must have changed his name by deed poll (he was previously Frank Canada).

Anyway, the discussion moved on as we made our way down the stairs and towards the front door, and Dom and Dave's conversation (in French) ended with Dave chanting 'Harper, Harper, Harper!' (Stephen Harper being the current, Conservative, Prime Minister) as we reached the door and bumped into...Mark Canada!

If Alanis Morissette had been there she would have undoubtedly exclaimed 'well, isn't that ironic?' which would have led the rest of us to respond 'no, Alanis, it's just a coincidence.' But I digest...

Seriously though, what are the chances, eh? (did you notice my lapse into Canadian then?). Dave quickly recanted his support for Prime Minister Harper, and we learned that Mr Canada (gosh, he now sounds like a contestant in Mr Universe; 'ladies and gentleman, please welcome our next contestant, Mr Canada!') was on a whistle stop tour of Nunavik in a bid to drum up some last minute electoral support. I duly booked some of his time in order that he come and speak to my students, and this morning his whistle stopped in my classroom, where he outlined his party's plans for the North.

Such a visit is quite a big deal in an area of the country where politicians normally fear to tread, and as one of my students commented, you might not agree with his politics but credit to him for making the trip. Whether he'll gain any extra votes as a result of his enterprise is up for debate, but one thing is for sure; Dave will always look twice before he uses the stairs in future!